does the exact time matter?

Last night, when I fell asleep I kept debating whether or not I wanted to be awake for the exact time he passed away or if I'd feel better if I just slept through it. Should I set my alarm?

I decided against setting an alarm. Instead, I prayed to God to make it clear which would be better for me. It sounds flaky, but I did. It was the only thing that made sense to do.

I woke up a few minutes before.

It was interesting, to say the least. I was pretty surprised given a) how late I went to bed last night and b) how sick I am. But, I was awake and aware of everything going on.

I remember asking my mom if he had passed yet. Everyone in the family was surrounding my dad's bed and the nurse had the screen tilted so we couldn't see it. My uncle was sharing his favorite memories from their childhood and it was instantly obvious.

My mom hadn't noticed, but to me it was clear as day. He was gone. That was not my dad in the bed. Somehow, that made it easier to let go. He looked drastically different.

It's interesting how those memories are some that I'd like to fade (for the most part) and yet they are still so incredibly vivid. Oh what the mind will do...