three.

it's the third birthday that i have seen pass without celebration let alone mention.  it's easier that way.  fail to mention it to the others hurting and living in chose oblivion just seems to be better -- easier.  it's to the point that the day arrives and i wonder, if not for the reminder on my phone, would i notice?  i tell myself i would.  i have to.

today was not a bad day.  i was productive.  i got work done.  i enjoyed the company of friends -- most blissfully unaware that anything was happening.  no one wants negative people around and therefore, i tried very hard not to mention it except to select few -- those who tolerate me because they have to.

i understand.  just like i sometimes need to handle it, others handle it the same.  they have to because they've never experienced the pain it entails and they don't wish to add insult to injury.  i get it.  and today i embraced that fact and loved it, something i can't say often. 

it's hard to believe it's been three birthdays.  hmph.

things that make my day.

1.  clementines.
2.  good conversation.
3.  random phone calls.
4.  making new friends.
5.  car rides.
6.  cool weather.
7.  cotsco membership.
8.  Sing You Home by Jodi Picoult.
9.  text messages just to say hi.
10.  diet coke.

Yours?

clownin' around for the kids.

something a little happier after yesterday.  not that the last post wasn't uplifting or anything, but i figured there is always a chance to be brighter and happier.

since last september, a group of college students (also referred to as dream team or dt) met weekly or every other weekly to plan a twenty four hour event we like to call dance marathon! throughout the year we plan, fundraise, rally, plan, meet, get excited, etc. for an awesome event that takes place on campus.  for twenty four hours, students are encouraged to stand on their feet to raise money for the local children's hospital.  families who have spent time at the hospital come, fellowship with the students, and share their moving stories of bravery and surviving.

i am so thankful for all of the students that were able to see past themselves and give to a greater cause though.  (this is in no way meant to imply that those students unable to attend the event or participate in a great manner are heartless or unable to see past themselves.  in fact, there were people at the event that were drunk, high, sleeping, sneaking out, etc. that were unable to see past themselves but were doing it as a requirement for their sorority or fraternity.)

i was so incredibly blessed to be a member of dream team this year.  i met some absolutely fabulous people with such a strong passion for changing the world -- it was contagious.  the event went great and we raised over $90,000!  our total was equivalent to every student at the school donating $30.  if anyone has ever been involved in fundraising, you know that is a difficult feat and almost impossible.  

 asldfkjal;dkfa;sdlfkasdjf;alsdjflasdkfjalsjdoasdjfoabghoafljvnbaodguoadfjlasdf!  i still get goosebumps every time i see that number.  it is so worth the headaches, the stress, the lack of sleep, the sore backs, the achey feet, the temper tantrums, the anxiety.  it is so worth all of the negative to have such a positive impact -- to have the families hug you and shake your hand, thanking you for the impact you have made on their family and their child's future.  SO WORTH IT!

a little about me.

i am morbidly obese.
i am ugly.
i have no friends.
no one likes me.
i am embarassing.
i am on the path to defining white trash.
i am going to school to teach retards when i am retarded myself.
i am a hypocrite.
all i do is eat.
i am unmotivated.
i lack compassion.
i am uneducated.

someone please remind me why i should love and respect my brother.  oh, by the way, he also cares about me.  is this what "caring" looks like?

italian soda

don't you hate when you have the perfect thing to blog about and the perfect wording, yet it all leaves you when you sit down to type it.  it's like when you think of what you need to get at the grocery store while you are standing in the shower, only to forget before you can get to pen and paper.

in other news, i made my own italian soda today.  it was tasty so i'll leave you with the recipe.  if i remember what i came here to say, i'll be back.  don't count on it.

italian soda:
1/2 cup flavored syrup
1/2 cup cream/half&half/milk
10 oz. club soda

stir.  serve over ice.  YUMMMMMMMMM.

snowy week.

things are starting to pick up here.  it is going to be a lot of craziness the next few weeks.  basically -- through march 12.  i'm excited for all the challenges though.  bring it.

i'm in a good mood today.  probably because i just took my nueropsych exam and it didn't hurt me as much as i thought it would.  i definitely didn't get 100% but i didn't fail either.  it's always refreshing to walk out of the exam room confident that you passed.  and for this class, passing is a C+ or higher.  will i try my hardest?  absolutely, but this professor... well, she's special. 

besides the exam, i had two snow days this week.  one was, of course, the perk of being an education major.  all the local schools were closed for a few days and therefore, i got to enjoy one of them.  one day was because my college closed though.  that was probably one of the most exciting days of my life.  my school does not close for school.  it's residential, most of the students walk everywhere, there is no need to.  but the other day, they closed.  and it was a glorious day -- i slept 'til noon.  enough said.

now, it's the freakin' weekend and i'm about to have me some fun... doing homework and stuff.

HAPPY FRIDAY! :)

it's been a while.

*EDIT*

i just realized i take a lot of blogging breaks.  i'm trying to fix it.  work with me.

---------------

there are perks to having an upper respiratory infection.  sleeping.  sleeping.  and sleeping.  watching movies, eating ice cream, and drinking tea.  reading blogs and stalking twitter.  organizing and reorganizing myself.  homework. homework.  and more homework.  and did i mention sleeping?  i did a lot of that.

the more i snooped around on the blogs i follow and read their tweets after tweets, it made me think about missing blogger.  i do miss it.  i miss my blog and the outlet it provides.  i miss the fun design.  i miss the opportunity to relive fun times and sort out hard times.  i miss keeping my friends informed.  at the same time, it causes frustration and irritation too.  i don't feel as though i am a great writer.  i rarely have pictures to post or interesting facts to include.  it's not catchy or attention grabbing.  it pains me.

today though, i love blogger.  it is time to bring it back.  for my sanity.  for something to do in my free time.  for an outlet.  for fun.  for entertainment.  today, i love blogger.

i'm BAAAAAAAAACK.