chicago!

decisions, decisions, decisions.

So, remember in the last post how I spoke about decisions? And staying up until 6:30? I'm gonna tell you something -- it was a very, very bad idea.

The time stamp on this post is wrong. Since it's the middle of the night, my mind still considers it the day before. It is 2:39 (at this exact moment) in the MORNING. Should I be awake? No. I didn't nap. I woke up before noon. I did things to get me back on schedule but apparently God doesn't care about my schedule.

I have a fever, the chills, a wicked unproductive cough, a headache, ringing in my ears, swollen tonsils, a sore throat, and the inability to sleep. I did sleep, though. I went to bed at 9:00 -- early, part of my plan to get back on track. I figured I'd sleep through the night. Wrong. It doesn't help that I am so incredibly sore from falling off a chair. Funny story, wicked consequences. My left arm hurts to move and my right elbow is jacked up. I don't know how I fell or how I landed but the after affects have not been entertaining today (they were incredibly funny last night. who falls off a chair?).

I woke up with horrid chills and having the most bizarre dream that I'm kinda too spooked to close my eyes again. I watched a movie in bed hoping I'd fall back asleep but it actually kept my attention. Then it struck me: I should blog and complain.

I'm good at that... but I'm working on it. Ughhh...

my quilt of life.

I love my friends. Each and every one of them. Every single one of them with every single flaw. Because, here is the thing, I'm flawed too. I understand bad days, poor decisions, and overreactions. I've been there. Maybe not with the same circumstances or the same bad choices, but I've been in the boat... and it's hard to not get seasick. It's difficult to remain calm, open your eyes, and see where the others are coming from.

Over the past couple weeks, I have been put in a couple very awkward situations. Ones where I have consciously chosen to not take sides, and yet I'm still be portrayed as a "side-taker." I've turned to select few that I chose to confide in and instead of just listening, I've been flat out (in a round about way) told that I was taking the wrong side and belittled for it. Yet, I know, inside my mind, heart, and soul, that I have taken no sides.

The issue of "sides" is something I think about often. After the trials I've been through with friends over the last year, I know I have had the desire for friends to take "sides." Who doesn't desire to be wanted? But, I also know that life is so much better just moving on and letting it go (being completely honest, I'm still working on it). Life isn't about sides. There isn't one team that wins or one team that loses, we just all finish at our own pace on our own paths. It's an infinite tie in the journey of life.

Last night, I was scoring the internet for something to encourage me. I came across a Bible verse that really stuck out:

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers." -- Romans 8:28-29

Take from it what you will, but to me it meant this:

There are trials in our lives. There are times when we will be down in the dumps and having the worst times ever. Some may argue that this month is it to them, and I'll get to that in another post, but -- there are also so many joys in this world. There are so many great things that happen all the time and sometimes we fail to notice them because we are too narrowly focused. And all these things are strategically intertwined by Someone that knows much more than I ever will. Every single event in our lives is woven together in the quilt of life. Every single one is different and yet in some way they're all the same. Right? They're all quilts.

It is in these moments of realization that we must make the conscious effort to embrace the uniqueness that strikes in life. Even if you and I experience the same situation, we may take from it two very different things -- neither one more right than the other, just different. Therefore, no matter what people try to tell me, I will stand on what I believe, knowing that I have made the decisions that are best for me whether others like them or not.

And that decision last night was to not sleep until 6:30am. I'm awesome.

luck?

I had a meeting with a professor today. I fairly important meeting. I had to figure out what I was doing on several assignments in order to complete them, do them properly, and get good grades. In my book, that equals important. So I signed up for a meeting with her on her door. The only available time that worked for me was 11:00 -- no. big. deal.

Well, I ran into her in the hallway before classes and she had a commitment that ended right at 11 and she didn't know if she'd be able to get back in time so she was wondering if I would be willing to meet at 3:00 with her. It definitely wasn't my preference, but not a problem -- I could make it work.

Luckily, at 2:45, I checked my e-mail only to discover that she needed to postpone my meeting yet again. Only a half an hour, but still an inconvenience. At this point, I could have been home, showered, eaten food, etc. But no, I was stuck in the building another 30 minutes. Oh well.

So I waited. And I waited. Oh, and I waited some more!

Finally, at 4:15, she came strolling through the door. See this face? This is my angry face?  >:-|  Grrrr...

haircut!

I got my hair cut today.

It was fairly spurr of the moment. It took me about 8 minutes to pick out a style off the internet, 12 minutes to talk myself into it, and 20 minutes to get it done.

I like it. It's short. But I like it. I've never had a "style" before but it looks good and I think it fits me. I'm used to "haircuts" where I ask that they make it easy to keep up and look cute. Those instructions have served me well.

But this cut works GREAT for me. I already showered and tried to restyle it myself and it is so easy and looks so much cuter than my previous haircut. I love it. Love it, love it, love it!

That is all.

:)

Wouldn't life be perfect if...

sweatpants were sexy, Monday mornings were fun, junk food didn't make you fat, friends didn't cause drama, men weren't confusing, nothing was regrettable, and goodbyes only meant until tomorrow?

I think so.

groundhog day.